Plug in any USB or Bluetooth gamepad and it's picked up automatically — no setup needed.

Left stick / D-pad — steer  ·  A button — thrust

X button / Right trigger — fire  ·  B button / D-pad down — instant flip

Start — pause. Press any button once to wake it up if the browser hasn't noticed yet.

Tap ↓ / S (or the flip button) to instantly spin the BIDET-1 to face the exact opposite direction — no slow turning required.

Perfect for a surprise shot behind you, or bailing out of trouble the moment you see it coming.

Cheek Rocks — come in 6 shapes (bubble, peach, dad-butt & more). Big splits to medium splits to small. 20 / 50 / 100 pts

SpiderButt — 8 hairy legs, 3 HP, hunts you when the countdown hits zero. From round 4 it also spits toxic toots that burst into stink clouds. 500–800 pts

The Mooner — a UFO that moons you AND shoots you. Rude. 150–250 pts

Stink Comet — fast, smelly, doesn't stop for anyone. 150 pts

Whoopee Mine — pop from a distance or eat the shockwave. 75 pts

Downed SpiderButts and Mooners always drop a weapon capsule. Grab it for 12 seconds of firepower:

TRIPLE TOOT — three-way spread. Quantity has a quality all its own.

PLASMA PRUNE — a fat purple orb that pierces up to 3 cheeks.

BIDET BEAM — instant laser. Cleanses everything in a straight line.

STINK SEEKER — homing shots that smell their way to the target.

Clear every 2nd round and the Gas Giant appears — a colossal golden butt tooting out precious space beans.

Fly through beans for +100 pts each. Dodge the green stink clouds or you'll spin out dizzy. No lives at stake — just glory.

Black Hole-y Moley — everything gets sucked toward the void. Including you.

Turbo Tailwind — a mighty cosmic gust shoves the whole battlefield.

Stink Shower — comet barrage. Keep your head down and your cheeks clenched.

Repulsive Cheeks — butts flee from you in disgust. Use it.

Higher rounds also add gravity pulling butts toward you. It's the law (of physics).

The BIDET-1 grows — and gets sillier — as you climb the rounds: bigger hitbox, but more firepower to match.

Rounds 1–3: HMS Butt Buster  ·  4–6: "The Wide Load"  ·  7–9: "Ass-tro Destroyer"  ·  10: "Rim Reaper"

Each upgrade fires faster, packs a bigger bullet, and eventually fans out extra pellets per shot.

Your shield roll grows with the danger: 1 ply for rounds 1–3, 2 plies for rounds 4–6, and the full 3-ply roll for rounds 7–10. You start every round fully topped up to that round's limit.

A hit tears off one ply instead of costing you a cheek — no ply left, no protection.

Every 20 ass-blasts (kills) rolls out a fresh ply if you've lost one, up to that round's max. Keep shooting to stay wrapped.

Watch the roll icons next to your Cheek Squad in the top-right — dim means spent.

· Chain kills within 2 seconds to build a combo — up to x5 points.

· Every 10,000 pts earns an extra cheek for the squad (max 5).

· A hit — shielded or not — buys a short moment of invincibility. Fly like you mean it.

· Flip (↓ / S) to reverse-thrust out of a jam or line up a shot behind you.

· Survive all 10 rounds to claim the Golden Throne.